When the holidays roll around, even those of us who normally eat healthfully can overindulge.

We know mental health is important to talk about, but it can be tricky to know what to say—or not say.

When we become stressed, our healthy habits and good intentions (walking at noon, deep breathing before work) tend to disappear as fast as a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies just out of the oven.

We’ve all experienced it. One person gets upset. The other reacts. Before we know it, each is blaming the other in a full-blown argument, and feelings get hurt.

Article originally appeared on Bloomberg Law. What’s the difference between mindfulness and resilience? It’s sort of like the difference between Paris and France.